27 May
I’d bring my hand sanitizer, though
No adorable baby or toddler pictures here, though I’m working on that. This is a rant. It involves breasts and bathrooms. If you are extremely offended by either, you may continue reading or move along, your choice.
Now that I have a toddler and a newborn, I don’t have certain luxuries that I had the first time around, when I had just a newborn. Like sitting on the sofa all day because the baby wanted to be held, and that’s really the easiest way to do it. Or, when I did venture out, the ability to plan the entire day around the newborn’s “schedule.” This time, I have to balance the urge to stay at home on the sofa all day with the need to create an environment in which neither I nor the toddler tear each other’s face off by the end of the day. Generally, that includes leaving the house at some point. So, we go places. And when the baby is hungry (read: just short of always), I feed her. Charlie, like her brother before her, is exclusively breastfed. Therefore feeding her involves using my breasts, pretty much wherever we are.
This doesn’t sound like a rant, you might be thinking. And so far, it’s not. Just a lady talking about feeding her baby and trying to keep her and her toddler’s faces intact. Here’s the rub: apparently, reader, some people are deeply offended by the sight of an infant feeding. Shocking, right? I could hardly believe it myself. My jaw actually dropped when Joey related the following conversation to me: He’s at the mall with his friend, the father of a toddler himself. They’re walking through the foodcourt, and his friend says, “Oh, man, I’m glad you didn’t have to see that. That lady was breastfeeding her baby. That’s what bathrooms are for.”
Now….I’ll confess, mainly because I was afraid of people with a similar opinion, I have done more than my fair share of feedings in bathrooms. When it was just Danny, occasionally I would happen across a bathroom that didn’t completely suck for this purpose. The best of these was at the Dillard’s in Arbor Place Mall, which had a little room off to the side, with upholstered armchairs. And hey, that was nice….very rare, and not nice enough to let my toddler run around and lick every square inch while I’m otherwise occupied, but nice. But guess what? I never saw anyone else feeding a baby there, but I did notice a whole lot of people seemed to go there to poop. That and the rest of my 34 years of experience with bathrooms lead me to think that actually, feeding babies is absolutely not what bathrooms are for. That said, unnamed friend of Joey’s, who as far as I know doesn’t even read this blog: if you would like to take your Chick-Fil-A sandwich or your gyro into the bathroom to enjoy it when next you are at the mall, I fully support you. In fact, I’d love it if you did.
Posted by sara on 05/27/09 at 8:51
As always, you are right on the mark. I never fed Avery in public. There was always a car I could escape to, a back bedroom. With Zoe? Yeah. That child ate everywhere. Wasn’t always feasible to leave my big kid alone on the playground while I escaped to the car. Matter of fact, I’m sure I could have gotten arrested for that.
Maybe some day, American society will remember that breasts are actually made for feeding, not purely for men’s enjoyment.
Posted by Heidi on 05/27/09 at 9:41
I second this! I fed Hannah multiple times in the Arbor Place Dillards Bathroom and there was NEVER anyone in there – how funny!
Posted by Leigh Anne on 05/27/09 at 9:47
See, here’s where you’re so much nicer than me…as I have said, many times and in a very authortative tone, “I don’t ask you to eat your chicken salad in the smelly bathroom, therefore do not ask my child to eat hers there.”
I was modest in my public feeding…didn’t whip it out or anything. And sure, I went to the Dillard’s ladies lounge (or as we call it here, Belk) for a good nursing session. But I also did my fair share of nursing. In public. Because it’s my right.
After all, I wasn’t (too) offended when someone bottlefed their child in public.
(See how snarky I am?)
Posted by Greg on 05/27/09 at 10:00
Your Dad likes to tell me (pretty much everyday) how poor they were when he was growing up, and that his daddy nursed him. I am not sure if he nursed him in public restrooms. I will have to ask him that. As a husband of a wife who nurses, I fully support you all, and will punch anyone in the face who suggests my child eat in a public restroom.
Posted by Charlotte on 05/27/09 at 11:03
This topic upsets me so much that all I can manage to say, without being verbally abusive and too inappropriate on Kelly’s blog, is well…I wish people with that mindset would just stop breathing or choke to death on their gyro while eating their meal an excrement-infested restroom.
Posted by rachieee on 05/28/09 at 23:55
As usual, you’re right on the money with this one. While I personally feel more comfortable when I cover up when nursing in public (gotta love my hooter hider!), our babies have the right to eat outside of the friggin bathroom!
On a similar note, California has a law that “The employer shall make reasonable efforts to provide the employee with the use of a room or other location, other than a toilet stall, in close proximity to the employee’s work area, for the employee to express milk in private.” They won’t let my gay friends get married, but at least I can pump in dignity and comfort!
Posted by Mariah on 05/29/09 at 12:25
I’m always shocked when I hear how uncomfortable people are about breastfeeding . IT’S FOOD! IT’S KEEPING THE BABY FED. You shouldn’t have to sit in a nasty old bathroom to do it.
Posted by sara on 05/31/09 at 19:44
So at the zoo last night, I saw no fewer than THREE mamas nursing their babies. Right next to the lions and orangutans. It made me think of you and this post. It also made me want to go and pat them on the back and tell them what a good job they were doing, but then I decided that might seem a wee bit creepy so I restrained myself.