Inspirations from cheese in a can. joey, kelly, danny, and charlie

Here’s the thing:  I know I’m supposed to be feeling extra thankful and grateful and content and all that.  Oh, and I am, somewhere down deep, between the latest and greatest fetus and my liver or something.  But of course much closer to the surface, instead of thankful, I’m feeling….contrary.  I do not want to make a list of things I’m grateful for, or expound on one in particular.  I want to gripe, naturally.  I’ll try and pick something quick and painless, only a little shallow, and topical, or maybe a series of random ones.  Yes, let’s go with random.

How about this….I want to look more cute and less thick.  It is a trait of my pregnancies, apparently, to not look pregnant until about ten minutes before the baby pops out, and right up until then, I just look like I eat too much.  Sounds minor, right?  And sure, it is.  But still, I want to look cute, and today I made a special trip to MaxxallRoss and Target, scouring the clothing and accessories for something that would help me out with that.  I have a gazillion maternity shirts (hand-me-downs, vaguely the right size and season), but none of them are particularly me or just right.  And two pairs of maternity jeans.  So I thought I could find just one sweater or something that I could wear to Joey’s family’s Thanksgiving situation tomorrow, and they would think:  oh, she’s so cute and pregnant.  Yeah, no.  What I finally bought because I insisted on buying something, dammit, was lip gloss.  Oh, yeah, that should totallly do it.

Also, some people wear way too much cologne and it makes me feel like my head is inhabited by 10,000 Perfumania/Yankee Candle Company combo stores.  Oh, shudder to think….if that store existed, it would be kindof like hell on earth, and I would not even be able to visit that wing of the mall.  Please, for the love of everything holy, restrain yourself in your use of fragrance.  Thum people are thenthitive.

And to round this ridiculously-shallow-after-all list of things I’d like to complain about this Thanksgiving Eve, let’s turn to Facebook.  And/or Twitter.  And people that include in their status updates the outcome of the TV show that they just got finished watching.  Seriously?  That is NOT RIGHT.  Some people fall asleep (not because they want to) at 8 p.m. and can’t watch that show until the next day.  But after it gets ruined, they just don’t watch it at all, and have to medicate themselves with marshmallows.  Just a hypothetical.  On AIM, there used to be (may still be, I dunno) a button you could push to warn people when they were being annoying or otherwise inappropriate.  Facebook should look into that.

Here is my offspring making what appears to be (but actually wasn’t really) a contrary face.  This is what I feel like this evening.  Thanks for stopping by.